Chapter 6: Fantasy Football

I have recently entered a very strange world.

It’s called Fantasy Football, and it’s not as risqué or Micky-Mouse-in-a-wizard’s-hat as it sounds.

The “fantasy” part is just a reference to the fact that people create teams that aren’t real.

They’re a fantasy.

And it’s about football.

It’s Fantasy Football.

And I’m actually kinda into it.


You’d be right in thinking that I’m not your typical demographic for a Fantasy Football fan.

  1. I live in New Zealand where our ‘people running at each other’ sport of choice is rugby
  2. When it comes to the Super Bowl, I’m really only here for the halftime show and the snacks
  3. I also don’t actually understand the rules of football per se … except that if you score in the 98th percentile for ‘protective instincts’ you should guard The Blind Side.

Some people would say that makes me a bad fit for a Fantasy Team, and to that I say:

I managed to wrangle the top two draft picks (Gurley and Bell), loved watching Hard Knocks (“It’s contagious brah”), and my team is currently 3-0.

*Flips hair*

I’m also a big Katie Nolan fan. She’s teaching me Sports?

But my secret weapon, and the real reason I’m playing Fantasy Football, is because of my husband, Taka.

Marital bliss?

Taka is what I would describe as a “Jock Nerd”.

He’s naturally athletic (what’s that like?), loves the NBA and NFL, and follows sports news like he’s the CIA (the man’s Twitter feed is insane).

We said “I do” on 14 January 2012 in Wellington’s Old St Paul’s Cathedral, and it was awesome.

vs. Reality

My most memorably wedding day moments:

  1. Three of my most talented friends wrote and performed an amazing mash-up song featuring the musical stylings of Disney and Usher while we signed the registry
  2. The. Cake. There was enough of it to feed an army (or like, me), and it was RIDICULOUS
  3. That wind though. My veil literally flew off my head at one point
  4. Doing the ultimate pinky ring-finger swear to stick with my best bud and sexy man friend forever.

But you know as well as I do that a marriage isn’t about the wedding.

That’s just one dope day.

Marriage is your every day after that.

And as someone who’s been married for six and a half years, I feel (very un)qualified to give some advice on marital bliss.

‘Cause, everyone loves unsolicited relationship advice, right …?

  1. Talk about stuff. Stuff you’re happy about, stuff you’re worried about, stuff you’re annoyed about – talk about all the stuff. Disagreements and grievances (over serious, or kinda dumb but important things, like who’s doing most of the housework) are very rarely as bad out in the open as they are in your head. Just talk about stuff.
  2. Do fun things together. It’s really good and healthy to have your own hobbies and ‘you do you boo’ time, but it’s also pretty special when some of your best memories in life are with your spouse.
  3. And own the role. As a spouse you are your partner’s most trusted confidant, biggest supporter, lover, and best mate. You laugh with them, protect them, encourage them, and stand by them. And when that’s happening on both sides, marriage is boss.

No one gets it right all the time (because none of us are perfect). But if you do mess up – just say you’re sorry, try and make it right, and don’t be a dick.

I’m in my Fantasy Football League (we’re called The Twelve #christianlols) because of #2. Doing fun things together.

Showing a genuine interest in what your spouse is passionate about is always a solid move. Hence, I now not only know who Mike Evans is, but I’m genuinely thrilled he’s kicking ass this season. Shot, Mike.

Back to football

For those of you who came to read about make-believe sports team makeups, this section is for you …

My Team

kate fantasy team

I don’t know much, but I do know this …

  1. Team names should equate to PUNS, which is why I’m Mrs Tucker (a. Because cute, and b. Because Queen B/Mrs Carter)
  2. Bell is coming back, yo. I can feel it
  3. Don’t pick teams based on hotties. I chose Eric Decker based on his face, and a week after our draft he was dropped from his team. Eric is currently pursuing a career in reality tv, which coincidentally, he does have a face for.
  4. I went RB, WR, WR in my draft picks. I hear that’s a thing?
  5. OBJ, is so cool it hurts.

That is all. Fin.

What hobbies have you had a go at in support of your main squeeze?

Also – I’m pretty new to this blogging game, so if you did want to share your favourite post with your pals on the social medias that would kinda be the coolest thing ever. You can at me on Instagram @beforekateturns30. I’d really appreciate your help in spreading the lols.

Have an epic week.

Kate x

One thought on “Chapter 6: Fantasy Football”

  1. I took up cycling to spend more time with the other half. Three years later he has stopped riding and I have ‘inherited’ some nice cycling gear. The only downside to this is that people think I know what I’m doing because I’m wearing $300 sunglasses. *spoiler* (or just spoiled?) I don’t!

    Liked by 1 person

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