Chapter 12: Cool Soccer Mom Hair

Motherhood is full of surprises.

Some are wonderful.

Like how ridiculously, heart-string-wrenchingly beautiful it is when your baby reaches out and touches your face for the first time. Or smiles. Or hugs you. Or laughs. Or falls asleep on you. Or gets food all over their face. Or breathes. Or exists.

Some seem real bad, but are actually fine

Like did you know that most stretch marks fade?!

I. Did. Not!

I’d just gotten used to looking like I’d been mauled by a tiger, and – poof! No more red claw marks down my tummy.

Bloody thrilled, mate.

Some definitely are as bad as they seem

Like sleep deprivation.

That crap is fierce.

It was my son’s birthday this week, which means I have not gone to bed – and stayed there all night – for over 365 days. Not that I am for sure counting.

I am currently surviving on coffee and love.

And some are just plain crazy town!

Exhibit A. Your hair doesn’t really fall out when you’re pregnant.

For nine months you become this lush Pantene ad of a woman. But then birth happens.

And

your

hair

falls

like

rain.

Showering becomes a very disconcerting exercise. Like, y u still in my hands, hair? U no live there.

I think my hair-exodus calmed down around 6 months postpartum (tbh, I have no idea. The last year is a beautiful blur), leaving behind some very questionable regrowth layers.

I have also been slowly turning into the lion from The Wizard of OZ as one of my budgeting hacks (two words: halved income) has been to cut down my six-weekly visit to the salon to six-monthly.

Grim.

Effective, but grim.

Also, #firstworldproblems.

“The Cool Soccer Mom”

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Last week (a casual six months since my last appointment), I booked in with my gorgeous hairdresser Haley, and asked her to make me look like Gemma Arterton, please and thank you.

I call this haircut: “The Cool Soccer Mom”.

It’s like Amy Poehler in Mean Girls meets Hilary Clinton.

Possibly the best gif I’ve ever seen.

Baller.

Other famous mum-fan include Kween of Hair, Lauren Conrad, real life Belle Marion Cotillard, and “Where the bloody hell are ya?” Lara Worthington.

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So. Damn. Chic.

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How-to style this mother

There are lots of different techniques you can try (like this one, or this one) – but an easy method is …

The Cool Chick Curl

  1. Starting at the front of your hair, curl first segment backwards away from your face
  2. Next segment: curl the opposite way (towards your face)
  3. And so on until you reach the back of your head
  4. Start the same process on the other side
  5. Straighten the ends (or leave uncurled)
  6. Spritz with sea salt spray (or hairspray) and mess up.

Done!

Curled Bob

I also like to air-dry my curls sometimes to get a little chic curled bob poppin’.

I do this when: a) I want to channel Marion and feel ooh lala and French, or b) I. Can’t. Be. Bothered. Heat. Styling.

Side note: my fave writer ZoΓ« Foster-Blake has a phenomenal curled bob.

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Tiny Dancer Bun

I’m a huge fan of the half-up bun. Like …

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It’s easy. Cute. And let’s face it, ponytails and buns are RIP when you’re hair’s at this length.

Other than pigtails (and pigtail buns or braids), it’s kinda your only option.

So at least it’s a good option!

Footnote: The origin of the term “Soccer Mom”

While I was researching for this post, I found out something really interesting.

It turns out, the term “Soccer Mom” became a thing during the 1996 election (Bill Clinton v Bob Dole), when the typecast of a suburban, SUV welding white woman became a “swing vote category” (Source).

We must win the Soccer Mom vote!

Fun. Facts.

When did you have a big hair change? Was it after a big life event? We do that, huh.

Kate x

Ps. The struggle has been so unbelievably real trying to get a good photo of the new do, so here are some random grainy photobooth snaps of me and my man at our friends’ wedding yesterday.

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