Chapter 13: Stretching

I do pretty well under pressure.

And, thank God.

Because Round the Bays, the half-marathon I famously (and stupidly) told the internet I would do in Chapter 5: Running, is less than three months away.

And I am not prepared.




Which I should be more worried about …

But I’m not. Because deadlines are my home girl.

Under pressure, da da daa da daaa

With this newfound motivation (to not die), I made the mistake of going from no runs to back-to-back runs last week.

To which my body said:

And I got a really sore lower back.

And knee.

And super tight hips.

Basically, I checked myself after I wrecked myself. Not before. Like a damn fool.

So, I went to the Osteopath.

Which was hilarious.

Have you been?

I had not.

I knew they were muscular experts, and I’m a big fan of a deep tissue massage (read: paying for someone to beat the crap out of you), so I kinda figured it would be something like that.

Which – wow.

What a grossly inaccurate assumption.

My appointment basically involved having my bum in someone’s hands for half an hour as they lightly tickled me.

I’m sure there was Osteo magic happening, and that she’s a kinaesthetic genius – but all I could think about was how awkward it would be if I farted.

This is the sort of maturity level I have to deal with in my head.

Anyway. It was during the gentle tapping that she exclaimed: WOW, YOU ARE SO TIGHT!

Which initially I thought she was inappropriately directing at my buns of steel … but, no.

She meant my body was basically a clenched fist.

And thus my homework has been:


Why stretch?

I feel like we all vaguely know stretching is a good idea, but perhaps not really why it’s a good idea.

It’s like drinking water.

We all know to do it, or we’ll, you know, die, but I’d hazard a guess that not many of us are reaching our recommended H2O quota.

(Ps. I totally am. But I’m a thirsty weirdo.)

We all know we should probably stretch. But whyyyy?

And I can attest, it really is so relaxing to do before bed. Especially jamming a bit of Bryan and Katie Torwalt’s new album, yass.

Fear the foam

It is relaxing, that is, unless the foam roller’s involves.

That cylindrical tyrant is absolute hell on my (tight, tight) hips.

The IT band one got me like:

My only hope is that, like drinking Spirilina/pond scum, the nastiness is doing me some good.

ParkRun #1

Speaking of good but unpleasant things …


Sweaty victory ft. my fren Mary who smashed it!

They’re free 5km events that run (punsss) every week all over the world.

And I am a fan.

I dragged my friend Mary along, and we had a fabulously active start to the weekend. I was so hardcore I even got arm chaffing from my old school phone armband.

Side note: if anyone has any recommendations on cellular device holders I would love to hear them.

It was only 5km and my arm was (ever so slightly) bleeding by the end of it.

If I don’t sort something before the half-marathon I’m going to have a 127 Hours situations on my hands.

When was the last time you stretched? Give it a go! It really is magic.

Kate x

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